You need to stay attractive in long term relationships
A couch potato swilling alcohol, smoking and eating terrible food will make absolutely terrible semen. When he has sex with his wife, he will send a clear signal of his poor quality as a mate and poison her attraction to him.
-Athol Kay
A lot of guys fall into this trap. They get lazy about themselves once they’ve locked a girl into a long term relationship. Girls do it too. But typically, the girl will track the guy she wants to feel attracted to. So if you get lazy, she will too (unless another guy comes along and motivates her to get attractive again). But if you keep yourself attractive, she will tend to try to keep up. Women are inherent competitors. Their instinct is to do whatever is necessary to preserve or gain power and social status by way of the men in their lives. That’s not something to despise. It’s something to acknowledge and honor and act upon.
The point is: when you’re in a long term relationship, you’ve got to fight to stay attractive. In doing so, you are honoring reality. It’s a reality in which her body, during her years of fertility, is acting as a perpetual radar for perceiving good potential mates. She wants to be attracted to you. So keep yourself attractive. Otherwise her radar will pick up on your lack of attraction and she’ll perceive it as “something is wrong” – and she’ll start trying to figure it out at a cognitive level, and won’t be able to because it’s not part of our social narrative. And then she’ll get frustrated and assume the only solution is to just end the relationship.
There are two ways you can maximize the quality and length of your long term relationships:
1) Fight to stay attractive
2) Make her feel attractive without over-inflating her ego
Notice that both of these things are within your control. Phase frame is all about taking control of your situation by understanding the way the world works and then doing what you can do to optimize it.
