Pushing Through The Defensive Posture
It took me a long time in my experience with girls to realize that one of their primary filtering mechanisms is to only allow access to guys who are willing to fight for access.
As boys, many of us were raised to respect girls. And in our minds, this meant taking everything they say and do as the final verdict.
But this attitude by the modern man actually dishonors female nature. Women feel loved by guys who are willing to fight for them (which often means displaying confidence, drive, and the ability to “tame” her).
My grandfather, who is now in his 80s, loves to tell the story of how he spent about 2 years trying to get my grandmother to marry him. And she finally did. Now personally, in today’s world, I wouldn’t give a woman 2 years of bullshit time. My general rule is 2-3 push back opportunities and then I move on. If I’m in her bedroom, and trying to get up her shirt, and she doesn’t break down a little with each subsequent effort… my patience runs thin. But in my grandfather’s day and age the world was very different and the courting ritual often involved a long drawn out push-pull display, with the guy having to win the girl’s favor. This mirrors a fundamental biological fact: females have more on the line with sex than males.
The point is this: if a girl has shown interest in you (signs of attraction), then at a biological level, she desires you. Madly. Maybe not rationally yet, but biologically she wants sex with you. She wants to make babies with you. There are probably other guys she feels this way about too. Don’t let that bother you. It’s a challenge. Her natural method for filtering guys is to be a little defensive. To take the defensive posture. To make guys work.
The guys who learn not to give up after an initial rejection… to play it calm and light… to not be rattled… those are the guys who end up having success with women.
And the great thing for guys is this: the best relationships I’ve had, the best sex I’ve had … it’s always been with the women who fight a little. The one’s who are prepared for the dance. The ones who honor that natural order of things.