Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category
A friend of a friend posted this to FB and I loved it. This boy has PhaseFrame to the extreme.
Note: Shawn is the dad. Caleb is the son.
Shawn: “How was school Caleb?”
Caleb: “It was good.”
Shawn: “Did you see your girlfriends today?”
Caleb: “Well, I already broke up with Sienna. She was pretty much a disaster.”
Shawn: “What happened?”
Caleb: “She was just always mean to me. Like, she asked me if I wanted to play sleeping beauty and I said yes but I was going to play basketball first, but then after I played basketball she said she didn’t want to play sleeping beauty with me anymore.”
Shawn: “So what did you do?”
Caleb: “I broke up with her.”
Shawn: “Did you tell her you wanted to break up?”
Caleb: “No. I just broke up with her. I don’t want be with someone that gives me a lot of trouble.”
Shawn: “I understand.”
Caleb: “Well, at least I still have six other girlfriends…”
A fat girl posted this to facebook.
Of course I don’t want just bone on my steak. I want my steak to be from a fit, lean, healthy cow.
That doesn’t mean I want my steak loaded with fat and gristle.
Here’s the logic of his subconscious:
Jim, you’re not getting laid like a celebrity should!
Jim, you get laid by sticking up for women.
Jim, go attack the bad guys… and become the knight in shining armor to millions of women with kids.
Jim, trust me, you’ll get laid by a million single mothers who are dying to get laid.
Here’s where the logic of his subconscious goes bad:
Those millions of single mothers who are dying to get laid: they have no interest in getting laid by a creep.
But not THAT complicated. Just a simple little differential equation, without the math. Let me emphasize that again: WITHOUT the math (trust me, she won’t like the math).
It’s more like a complex dance that speeds up, slows down and so on. The key is to lead, stay attractive, be confident, and keep in command (of yourself, first and foremost).
So a girl’s telling you her story and she mentions how she and her sister used to cut barbie doll hair when they were kids; her sister would do a really nice job and make the barbie look nice and pretty… but the girl you’re with (the one telling the story) would make the barbies look freakish…
In your mind, she becomes The Barbie Mutilator. And you say:
So all these years they’ve been looking for the infamous Barbie Mutilator, and here she is, sitting right beside me.
Just make sure not to do it in the wrong direction!
In all seriousness, I’ve had some very good sexual experiences that start off with her sitting between my legs as I massage her breasts and kiss her neck. It’s something I enjoy doing from time to time. Maybe you will too.
Breakups can be heartaches. They involve literal withdrawal symptoms from the chemicals of love. Quitting a person can be more difficult than quitting morphine or nicotine.
The best way to deal with a breakup is to take it lightly and move forward with the more important things in life… your adventures, goals, etc. This guy nails it.
It’s probably staged. But I couldn’t imagine a better response for handling a breakup.
This is too true.
See more at College Humor
Enjoy the laugh.