Phase Frame

How to thrive as a man.

Beware of the single mother

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Smart, successful, confident people don’t ignore statistics. They don’t fall for the uniqueness trap. They pay attention to patterns in society and take smart risks.

The fact of the matter is that most single mothers in the United States fit a pattern that’s bad for men. There are exceptions for sure. But that doesn’t mean you should take the risk. It’s a bad one.

Single mothers. Bless their hearts. It’s no easy work. And I know some wonderful single mothers. This is not intended as a negative attack on single mothers. It is not meant as an insult to those who are trying their best. Lord knows we’re all trying our best. Instead, this article is intended as advice for men. To protect men from a potential landmine.

So here’s why you need to beware of single mothers:

1) Most single mothers have accustomed themselves to have multiple men in their lives (the providers and the exciters). If you are settling for a single mother (and yes, it’s settling… huge baggage that other women don’t have), then the chances are good that in her eyes you are being lumped in as one of the providers. In many cases, the main provider for single mothers is the state or federal government. But she’s not afraid to aggregate as many sources of resources for her kids as possible… and that’s how you fit in. Face that fact before diving in.

2) Single mothers understandably tend to have protective hangups related to their kids. This gives them an extra excuse for flaking.

3) Single mothers often have violent ex-husbands or boyfriends who you may encounter one day, and who knows, it might come with a gunshot to the chest.

4) Biologically, women are programmed to secure resources through men. That is the reason for hypergamy (upscaling). You are a potential resource in her eyes. A resource for her kids. That’s how she perceives the world.

5) Most single mothers chose to abandon the relationship in which their child(ren) originated. They are self-selected for being non-committal.

Again, not all single mothers fit this mold. But in my experience, most do. Be warned.

Written by James

September 25, 2012 at 3:01 am

Posted in Relationships

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