Phase Frame

In the modern context, we still have the instincts of the past, but a vastly different social context. Our instincts would have worked in the past, but not today. Here are 10 common mistakes that men make in relating to women.

Early Relationship Mistakes

1) Gift giving mistake
Don’t give her anything material. Give her some of your time, make her laugh, take her on some adventures.

2) “I love you” as an expression of desire mistake
Most women hate being easy. They want to have to earn your love. And really, you don’t love her, even if you feel like it… you just want to fuck her real bad, admit it.

3) Reason-first mistake
Don’t reason your way to anything in the relationship… especially sex.

4) Not enough teasing and lightness mistake
Don’t take yourself or her so seriously. Keep things light with sarcasm and tease.

5) The “Win Her Over” mistake
You’re the prize. She should be working to prove herself to you. Otherwise you’ve got the wrong frame.

6) Lack of Decision Making mistake
Girls love guys who are decisive and have leadership qualities. But don’t be a dictator either. Keep it light.

7) The walking on eggshells mistake
Don’t be careful around her. Let loose.

8) The Dopamine chasing mistake
You loved the way it all felt at the beginning. The intensity of it all. And you want to reach back and get that again. Instead of naturally phasing through the cycles of love. Avoid this mistake, lest you look desperate.

9) The “I just want to understand” mistake
If the relationship starts to break down, don’t get desperate and make her feel like she’s a victim of the inquisition. Simply fight to be attractive, and if she doesn’t respond to that, move on.

10) The “miss your chance to ravish her” mistake
If you have her naked, take her to that place she’s been longing to go her whole life. Let it be you she remembers for the rest of her life. Don’t hold back.

Long Term Relationship Mistakes

11) The Best Friend mistake
It’s better that you have a male or two as best friends, and that you’re lover be your lover.

12) The Confider/Transparency Ideal
Be weak around friends and family. Not around the woman you want to be attracted to you.

13) The Permission request mistake
Never ask your woman for permission for anything. You can ask her opinion. But you direct your own show.

14) Push Over mistake
Stand up to her when she’s wrong.

15) The “whatever you want” mistake
Have an opinion.

16) Slow, tender love mistake
You’ve got to be aggressive and hard some of the time.

17) The “She’s my everything” mistake
If you sacrifice your inner core to cater to her, then you really have nothing attractive left to offer her.

18) Sacrifice of friends mistake
Keep friends. Have guy time. You have to have time away from her.

19) Sacrifice of hobbies mistake
Have regular activities that you are skilled at and that give you a sense of confidence.

20) The No More Mystery mistake
Relationships are best and last the longest when both people are fully individuated, non-possessed, and somewhat mysterious to each other