I have sapiosexual, long-term preferences. Tits and ass and face mean a lot. But I absolutely value a woman who’s got glimmers of intelligence.
I like mindfucking. I like playing around. I like games. An intelligent girl can add complexity to the mating ritual and make it more interesting.
If they are attractive, intelligent girls know that they like being submissive in the bedroom and in the relationship.
Intelligent girls tend to be more stable. Less bullshit, more fun.
Intelligent girls still go through the ebbs and flows of the monthly cycle, but can have an awareness that lets them hold themselves in check.
Intelligent girls don’t want to be endlessly entertained. They do want spikes of excitement, with nice long breaks in between.
Intelligent girls tend to be less co-dependent and controlling.
Intelligent girls can have trouble trusting. Excessively cynical.
Intelligent girls can be excessively career driven and therefore less feminine or family oriented.
Intelligent girls, if career driven, can be terrible candidates for being the mother of your children.
A guy who’s got sapiosexual tendencies has high standards for long term relationships that most women can not meet. The key is to diversify and enjoy some women simply for their physical form alone, while you actively engage social environments conducive to meeting intelligent women. Coffee shops. Bookstores. Lectures. Yoga Classes. Sculpture classes. The gym (a lot of women who are mindful enough and disciplined enough to go to the gym will have a nice level of intelligence).
Point being: know what you like but don’t let short term opportunities pass by because they aren’t perfect. Don’t make the mistake of limiting your options to women who can satisfy your desire for creativity and variety. Otherwise you’ll be frustrated. It’s the oneitis of type.
There are going to be compromises along the way no matter what woman comes your way. Just remember to be picky about your long term options, and more open with the short term. Short term abundance will lead to better long term options.
To do consistently great things in this world, you have to focus and then act. You can’t simply float down the stream 100% of the time. You have to be mindful. Intentional. You have to create your own environment.
For the last year I focused like a laser on a big, real world project that has now passed from strategy and startup to operational phase. Here are some things I noticed during that time:
1) By focusing on something big (a real world project with strong social visibility), I had no time to obsess about any one woman or to give any one woman a large amount of attention. I tend to be sapiosexual and when I find an intelligent but hot woman, if I’m not mindful, I can invest a little too much. With this project, necessity forced my hand. The results: I found the women in my life to be more attracted to me than ever and seeking my attention.
2) The danger of long term projects (and focus) is that it can make you unusually uptight at times as you may feel a natural tension and anxiety waiting for other people to get shit done. Women do not like uptight guys. Natural attraction is to guys who have fun, create excitement and have the potential to take them on a magical adventure through uncharted lands.
3) The key to overcoming the natural anxiety of focus is to compartmentalize and build in times of the day to be completely and utterly light. You have to be able to pivot in and out of focus. If you let focus consume you (i.e. you constantly worry about the details), it will not only drive you insane, it will drive women away. I had a super dry social month where people (women included) didn’t want to be around me. I blame it on a month of failing to compartmentalize and not being able to step away. It’s all about being intentional. Taking the time to do what’s right.
4) One way to lighten up is to be at peace with the reality that many things are out of your hands. Luck has a lot to do with everything: from business success to getting IOIs from women. Of course luck doesn’t have everything to do with it, but you can feel the peace to lighten up when you know you’ve put your 100% into giving yourself your best chance. Don’t be anxious over the stuff you can control.
5) Don’t ever take anything too seriously. Not so much that it saps the joy out of life. Most of the pressure you feel is pressure you put on yourself. Just do the little things you can do today to make the world you want tomorrow.
I was meeting with a good friend and recent business partner the other day and I was giving him relationship advice. Here’s what I told him:
1) Stay with a woman who empowers you (both sexually and individually)
2) Leave a woman who seeks to control you or have you compromise
3) Don’t marry until you’re in your 40s; preferably after she’s already shown she can give you kids*.
4) The only good reason to marry is to raise healthy, well adjusted kids
5) Be certain that the woman you marry *wants* to be a mother
6) Be sure that she’s not going to change her tune once she’s got you locked down
7) Be ready to leave; always.
8) Keep a few woman in the queue in case the current one fails your requirements. Having a few women in the queue will also strengthen her desire for you as you’ll inevitably come off as having more social value.
*I’m now recommending to young guys that you not have kids with a woman unless you have enough dominance in the relationship to have a no-questions asked paternity test.
In the past, when I looked at a girl, I looked at her honestly. I felt no need to hide intentions. If I wanted to fuck her, I looked at her that way.
But after watching this video, I’m starting to doubt myself. In fact, the video has now convinced me. From here on out, I will ask her permission for everything.
While this has not been verified in humans… it is entirely possible. Our knowledge of biology is incomplete, even when we pretend that we’ve got it all figured out. We also tend to think in terms of discrete either/or options but reality does not: it very well could be that the female egg takes multiple informational input as a diversification strategy. We simply do not know.
Moral of the story: another reason to value women with zero to very low previous sexual experience. The possibility that the men who spread their seed in her, spread part of their seed for good.
Moral of the story 2: for every instinct (like men craving youthful, inexperienced girls and displaying rage at infidelity) there is probably a good ancient reason that still manifests itself in the modern world, outside of our awareness. Men might simply desire kids that are maximally theirs.
From birth, she was taught that she deserved the world and all its contents.
Yesterday I was interacting with about 4 dozen middle aged women in a life coach type situation. Most of them were very sweet. One of them was total bitch. Nasty. Negative. A real potential cancer both to my own internal mental state and to the energy of the group.
The good news is that lately I’ve been developing my mental state for this type of situation.
So I beat that shit down with an internal, positive bounce and light smile that I’ve developed while meditating to the face of an angry looking fat woman (I kid you not). I beat it out of her by maintaining my own internal state. Not letting her affect me. I made positive energy and shared it with the group. She got jealous. And I made the other women ecstatic by having fun with them.
That’s one of the main responsibilities of being a Phase Frame man. Dictating emotional states to other people in your environment.
A man with PhaseFrame can melt the bitch out of a group.
The big drive I made early on in developing my own personal Phase Frame was to be emotionally unaffected by the outside world, including other people. This skill goes a long way. When a woman sees that you’re unflappable, bitch-proof, and playing your own game, she can’t help but take notice.
What I’ve discovered in the last few years is that my developed unphaseability had this negative side effect: life was getting numb and boring. I’d mastered and dulled all my emotions in an effort to gain a strong state of Phase Frame. In the process, life lost some of its color.
So, for a few years now, I’ve been me more selective in being unaffected. And I’ve been more intentional about the positive internal emotions that I cultivate. And I’ve not been afraid to let the right sort of environments into my emotional system. See… that’s the problem I was facing: rather than replacing negative emotions with self-controlled positive ones, I simply rejected emotion and the outside world’s ability to impact me. I mastered stoic, badass, mysterious, loner. And sure women are enticed by that frame. But in the process I allowed this desire for women to remove some of my greatest happinesses. Sunsets and great shit like that stopped affecting me. That was a red flag.
Here are some tips for avoiding my mistakes, maintaining control over your state when you want to, developing a force field against social negativity but also being empowered by positive environmental energy:
1) Meditate for 10-20 minutes every day. The goal here is to control your own internal emotional state. Keep a timer so that you can go completely out of mind. Alternate meditation strategies with 7 different modes: A) eyes closed B) eyes opened staring at nothingness (a wall) C) eyes opened staring at a hot woman’s eyes D) eyes opened staring at an old lady E) eyes opened staring at an obese woman F) eyes open staring at a beautiful landscape. G) Eyes opened staring at a professional athlete. The goal with meditation is to not think… to just be. It’s about being in the moment. It’s about setting your emotional frame and then letting go of your head. I like to meditate while staring into the faces of people so that I can practice being present with different environmental factors and maintain positive energy throughout.
2) Intentionally place yourself in environments that give you natural happiness. Embrace the natural happiness. Let it wash over you. Let it empower you.
3) Selectively place yourself in challenging, negative environments to practice your emotional force field, and work on cultivating positive energy in these environments. Does your family of origin (mom and dad?) cause you anxiety? Smile about it, engage it, laugh, bounce, vibe through it. Work on maintaining a positive state in the face of negative energy.
4) Cultivate an attitude of thankfulness for all good things. A firm round ass. A jaw dropping sunset. An old man who tells wise old stories. The woman you fuck into heaven. A smiling baby.
5) See the world lightly. Find a way to laugh or smile about everything. Everything.
6) Excite yourself in non-dulling ways. Go on a real, new adventure every month.
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
PhaseFrame has taken a backseat to what I’ll call the major “expansion” phase of my life. The seeds are sown. The pieces are set. I made shit happen. I made the life I want. Time to harvest the goods. Time to feast. Time to savor.
And part of “savor” means PhaseFraming… this site will start getting updates again.